The Single Life

Questions one tends to hear from friends and relatives as one remains romantically unaffiliated throughout his 20s and 30s:

“You ain’t married yet?”

“You seein' anybody?”

“Why ain’t you married yet?”

“Not even any prospects?”

"When you gone find you a good woman and get married?"

And the implicit “What’s wrong with you?"

It’s not that I don’t want to be married. It’s not that I subscribe to the view of George Clooney’s character, Everett McGill, in the movie O Brother Where Art Thou? – “A woman is the most fiendish instrument of torture ever devised to bedevil the days of man.” Not at all. But I also don’t chase after marriage just because society says it’s the thing I’m “supposed” to do.

Sure, marriage and kids and a house in the suburbs are part of the good old American dream, and raising a family is a noble thing. But I believe God is directing my life, and so far that direction has not included marriage. I believe God has some specifically defined purposes for me (and for every person who will seek and submit to Him). In his bestselling book, The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren did a great job of outlining God’s purposes – worship, fellowship, discipleship, service and mission – and encouraging each reader to figure out how God wants him or her to uniquely achieve those purposes.

I believe Jeremiah 29:11, where God says, “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” I hope those plans include a wife, one who loves God and with whom I can spend my life serving Him.

But if that’s not part of the plan, fine by me. Because there’s more to life than “happiness” here during my short time on earth. There’s a whole eternity, and it’s begun already with lasting peace and joy in a relationship with my heavenly Father.